Sweat it.

Loosing weight means sweat.

Uncomfortable, running down your bum cheeks, sweat. There's no way round it. So you might as well get used to it. 

Once upon a time I was embarrassed to sweat, for anyone to see that I might have had a hair outta place.. Bloody hell I was more than 137 kilos, and I thought hot guys were looking at my hair??? Who was I kidding?

Over the years I have learned to come to terms with it, make friends with it, and actually learn to love it. Because sweat, my friend, makes your fat fall off.. How about that? 

To think all of these advertising companies are trying to tell us that it is protein shakes, or amphetamines, or fat dissolving tablets that makes you thin, and you and I have discovered the secret.

Sweat actually makes your fat dissolve, disappear, get smaller.. Who knew? 

I like to think my fat runs off to walk the St James Way in Spain... But that's just me wishing I was there too. Where will your fat run to?  Who cares really where the fat goes, as long as its off my arse. :)

So, here's a picture of me.. Almost in Lycra, with no makeup, hair stuck to my neck,  first thing on a Bloody Hot Sunday morning, with???   You guessed it. My best friend, sweat. And Cate, which was an enormous effort for her, because not only does she struggle with mornings, she typically doesn't get dressed on Sundays... Let alone in gym clothes and exercising before 7am.

Go Catey! Your Mumma is very proud o you!

Happy Sunday.

All it takes is 6 words....

People are always asking me how I did it.

How I lost almost 70 kilos, now. Surely you had your stomach stapled, you must have been sick, in an accident, on biggest loser..... Nope, nope and nope.

I did it the easy way. No potions, no fees, no buying special foods and not being able to eat out. No missing out on a champers or two on a special occasion. 

Right here, right now I will let you into the secret thats guaranteed to work for, no fail, super charged weight loss.

It's simple. All It takes is 6 words to change your life. 

Shut your mouth, move your arse.

Do that every day, with the occasion lapse to enjoy life- And you will be fit, happy, healthy and gorgeous in no time. 

But, If you would prefer to spend your money each month, send it to me, I can easily charge you for vitamins, video calls, protein shakes and super doooper tabs that will do stuff all, but it will make you feel better about having something to blame for not working (and it will also pay for my next overseas trip..)

So seriously, if you really want to loose weight once and for all, stop making excuses, stop whinging and moaning, suck it up, suck it in and get going.

SYM MYA. 

Remember that, it's the code to change your life forever. Stick it on the mirror, in the fridge, on the coke machine at work, Tattoo it on your forehead if you have to, but just do it. 

But please, Feel free to send donations for my overseas trek anyway... They'll be gratefully accepted. :)

 

Some hints on healthy eating.

Howdy.

I've had lots of messages about what I eat, what I do to starve off the boredom of the same old salads.. So here's a sample of what we eat these days. 

Breakfast is almost always a hot dish. Now, please remember that we get up to go to work at 4am, so no whinging about not having time to cook in the morning, it's faster than toast- trust me, I've timed it. I prepare all the night before and leave in the fridge ready to cook. Breakfast is really important, so please if you cannot stomach anything too much in the morning, at least have a protein shake and fruit. You must get that metabolism awake and moving!

Breakfast varies and it really depends in what's have in the fridge, but it's usually some form of capsicum, mushrooms, bacon, egg, onion, cheese, milk. Put it in a Tupperware shaker and leave in the fridge. Next morning, I roll out of bed at 4 am, turn on the coffee machine and frying pan, sprayed with coconut oil- have a shower and by the time I'm out, the pan is hot enough to cook breakfast, shake and pour. I get dressed whilst its cooking, press the espresso button... Voila. Breakfast of champions!

Sundays are special days at our home, lazy slow wake up followed by freshly squeezed juice, black coffee and fruit salad with Greek yoghurt. It feels like such a treat. 

Presentation of food is important as well, use garnishes and arrange the food decoratively, it really does make a difference. I have even bought beautiful, although not expensive, crockery, and eat off it all the time, just as another reminder that I am worth all the good things in life.

Morning tea will be a coffee and a piece of fruit, not at any set time, but when I fancy it. Could be a small fruit salad, or just a piece of fruit on the run. Coffee might not be at the same time, but I can assure you I will fit one in at least once every morning. 

I actually have two coffee machines, one upstairs and one downstairs. I love good coffee. I drink it black coffee, no sugar. Not because I'm dieting necessarily, but because I spent years working in remote projects with long-life milk, and often no sugar... It was adapt to that crap milk or go without. I went without. After being in Paris, Hugo is also a convert from dedicated tea drinker to short black coffee as well.

If you feel you still need that sugar in your morning coffee, so be it. If one teaspoon of added sugar is all you are having a day, that fantastic! Don't feel guilty about it, enjoy it. Life's meant to be savoured, not suffered!

If I'm at home, I don't usually eat lunch.. I'm one of those people that get busy and kinda forget till about 3 pm, but Hugo is a timed to the second lunch eater. I can be in the other room and hear his stomach start to growl at 11.59am for food. Because eating Paleo is doing his allergies the world of good, Hugo has also given up bread, so instead of a sandwich we make salads, or use seaweed instead of wraps. We also wrap cold meat and cheese etc in lettuce leaves, roll up and devour that way. I also make Ooopsie Rolls and use as a bread substitute.

Ooopsie Rolls are fabulous. Google them for all kinds of ideas on how to use, but my two favourite uses I will share. They are made with eggs and Philly cheese. Whisk the egg whites with some salt till very stiff, mix the yolks and the Philly cheese together and slowly ,carefully fold through the egg white mix. Bake in blobs and as they cook, they will flatten and spread a little to make small flat bread. Use as you would use bread after drying on an baking rack. I add some Thai seasoning, or garlic to take away that real eggy taste.

I have also baked this in a Swiss roll tin, filled up with whipped cream and strawberries and rolled for a dessert... Who said healthy eating has to be boring?

Afternoon tea time is where I struggle for a sweet - that little extra something to have with a cup of tea on the deck. Date and almond balls, chocolate slice and apricot balls as I suggested a few posts ago are great. Dates have a natural sweetness that just hit the spot for me. Sometimes I will have some nuts instead, depends on where I am and what I'm doing. Nuts are a great portable healthy alternative for when that nibble craving starts. Carry a small packet of trail mix in your handbag, or maybe even a small box of sultanas like you had as a kid. Stay away from the vending machines! Don't try and kid yourself that you are so good and so committed to this diet that you will not get the munchies mid afternoon, just be prepared. 

Dinner is easy. Meat, fish, chicken, protein, protein, protein with veges or salad. I do not eat potatoes, rice, pasta etc.  

Pile your plate with veges, the ones you like, no point cooking veges that you hate, just because you read somewhere they are good for you... 

Hugo makes a fantastic salad that has a bag of lettuce leaves and a small container of Aussie Mix, that has feta cheese, olives, sundried tomatoes, etc in it. Mix together, oil and all... Serve. What could be more simple than that? 

Every couple of days, we will have a dessert. How easy is it to whip and avocado and cocoa together for a fantastic choc mouse? Or sliced strawberries with Greek yoghurt and flaked coconut? 

Simple food, homemade with love, and served beautifully. You can ask for nothing better.

I know there will be those amongst you that are concerned about cholesterol, about fibre intake etc, but I am not a Dr remember? I've been asked to share my experiences with you and this is it. I have had countless disagreements with people still trying hard to loose weight because what I eat is different to them. But, I stand before you 70 kgs lighter and say, "what have you got to loose?"

I've now given up trying to convince people that you do not have to starve yourself to be fit, to be happy and to be within a healthy weight range. If your intention is to get off the diet train, get away from all the starvation and the feelings of not being able to eat and enjoy fine food, try this... If not, keep your negativity to yourself and leave us to get on with getting gorgeous, please.

Years ago my Dad told me that cereal is used to fatten livestock, and since I stopped eating it, I've lost weight? Connected? Who knows, but it works for me. We eat no bread, no sugar, no cereals, minimal man made food at all. I enter the supermarket, walk around the outside to the fresh fruit, vegetables, meat and dairy aisles and thats it. No need to enter the inner aisles of prepackaged, over processed, over priced food. 

Hugo's allergies have gone, Chucks pimples are gone, my weight is gone, and most importantly, my hot flushes have gone. It doesn't get any better than this. 

I live with a fat-o-phobic

Hugo is Fat-o-phobic. 

He has no tolerance for people who are overweight or out of condition. he sees them as lazy, too tired to get out of their own way, Sad sacks, whingers, complainers! He judges, he frowns, he looks away in disgust. He is one of those fat shaming people. He does it unconsciously, which sadly tells me he has been doing it or a very long time. 

Hugo comes from a long line of them.  Skinny people, who have never had to battle their weight, watch what they eat, think constantly about calories or carbs.. People who make comment about shop assistants, look down their noses at overweight mothers struggling with prams and grocery trolleys, make comments about gorgeous little girls in dance costumes actually having rhythm..

OMG the shock of it!! Fat people can dance?? Who knew?

But, There are thousands of people like Hugo out there. Judgemental, ignorant about any form of weight related struggle and fat-o-phobic. Lucky bastards born with the genetics to eat whatever, whenever and how ever much they want with no consequence..  Some are parents, and some even have fat children... Can you imagine the emotional damage these people are doing to their kids? I know, because my mother was fat-o-phobic, and I'm still recovering from being raised as a fat kid. Once that idea is in your head, it takes an awful lot of shifting. Like 50 years or so!

But, I really should say Hugo WAS Fat-o-phobic, because, as we more enlightened people know, when the student needs guidance, the teacher appears..My darling Hugo has fallen in love with a recovering fat person.  Not only a fat person, an "oh my good she was bloody enormous" fat person.

Hugo never knew me when I was overweight, he only knew me as the lady upstairs at work, who walked everywhere, wore a pedometer on her belt, ate healthy food, and went to the gym after work. He knew me as the safety officer who had photos of overseas motorbike trips on her office wall. He knew me as the person who cared about the people she worked with and did everything in her power to keep them safe and healthy. He had no idea that fat lady on the motorbike was me. 

Hugo has lived with us for a couple of years, and now he knows the struggle, knows the effort that I have had to put in to get to this point. He still eats like a horse, but now he eats healthy food, rather than muffins and cake. He understands.

And That is what makes the difference. He supports me. He doesn't frown anymore when I eat a chocolate biscuit, because he knows I'll just eat two if he does. He walks with me on his days off, he cooks dinner when i go to gym class, and he wants me to succeed at my set goals. Since he has been eating Paleo, his allergies and rhinitis have also cleared up, so it's easier to have him in my corner. 

But, Fat-o-phobes are everywhere. I'm actually tempted to start an online counselling session business for fat-o-phobes, after all, I've been dealing with them for 50 years. I've been Ignored in cafes and coffee shops, frowned at in boutiques, surf shops?? pffftttt.. Don't even bother going inside!

I've seen it all- I got told in a bakery line once, "I'll just serve old mate over here, looks like you can afford to wait a little longer, not like you're starving". Yep, you guessed it.. Straight out the mouth of a skinny person. 

If you guys think that quips like that don't hurt, ring me and ask me to relate the story of the shopkeeper at the pool in my home town, he hurt my feelings when I was not even old enough for school, and still I remember that like it was yesterday, 45 or so years later.. Trust me, it hurts and we do remember! 

I know there are people who read this blog and tell their overweight friends about it, hoping to encourage them to make a change, and that's fantastic. But please, be very aware of what you say, of how you say it, and think about the damage and hurt you may unwittingly be causing in the process. 

If you have overweight people in your house, do not single them out. Do not make them feel inferior by making them eat differently. If you are serious about having healthy children, don't buy shit food, for anyone! Everyone needs to be healthy, so everyone eats the same food. Good, healthy, wholesome food. And for gods sake do not EVER brainwash them into thinking that they are not worthy because they are not stick thin. 

Fat people need positive encouragement, but they also will never loose weight until they want to. Until they have that lightbulb moment themselves, that moment of realisation that they can do this. So until then, be supportive, suggest a walk, stock the pantry with healthy foods, cook different and enticing healthy recipes, think of alternative things to do other than meet for coffee and cake. Do not judge, do not push, do not make them feel less of a person because of their excess weight. 

Love them anyway. Because, like Hugo, you might come to realise that some fat people have hearts of gold.. And will show you happiness you never thought possible.

You are not fat....

Lets get one thing straight here... YOU are not Your fat. 

You may have deposits of extra goodness around the arse,but big deal. You will no longer be defined by the fact you have fat in those curvaceous hips, so stop thinking about it.  Get over it. You should be way too damn busy working on your fitness plans, your life goals and your healthy lifestyle to have time for any negative thoughts.  

Focus on what you want. Think about the PAC-MEN happily chomping away that extra weight, visualise each time you shower, the fat melting off and running down the drain. 

I'm a huge believer in "what you declare you achieve" so now is the time to write who you really are. Underneath your skin

For example,  in my office I have a group of photos collaged together than make a visual reminder to me of my goals..amongst them there is a photo of a fit healthy woman at the gym, not super skinny, just lean and toned. That's who I am. 

I am not my extra roll of flab which needs more surgery to correct, I am not my cellulite that gathers on my thighs like a hail damaged Holden. I am a thin, lean, fit woman in the making. I am funny, compassionate, caring and loving. I am the mother of 5 gorgeous, successful, happy, healthy kids. I am a partner, a mother, a volunteer, an employee, a next door neighbour, and a friend. 

I am not my fat. 

I'd also like to think I'm a tiny bit gorgeous as well..

 

So proud...

You guys have no idea how very proud I am at this moment. 

In the last week or two, I have had so many emails, messages, and calls from people who have read my blog and they are loosing weight, feeling fabulous,or finally started to feel like they are in control of their world. It makes me so excited that my blog can motivate others in such a way... One gorgeous girl told me she has lost 3 kg already. In 2 weeks. I just wanted to jump through the phone and squeeze her tight, I was super proud of the effort she has put in to get to that point.

You guys rock!

All it takes is the moment of decision. The moment you put your plan into action. The rest is easy.

The other reason, I am excited is because I went race dress shopping yesterday, in a skinny person shop. You know the type, groovy music, twig thin shop assistants in too short dresses.. 

Firstly, I am excited because they actually acknowledged me and wanted to help, rather than look at me like, "oh pleaseeee, as if we have anything big enough for that arse, in our funky little skinny person store", and secondly, because  I bought one. It's a size 12 and its white. And it made Hugo's eyes sparkle when he saw me in it... Emerald 100, here I come! 

But, back to business-

I'm going to give you a plan example to use as a guide to start if you need to. I know some of you are still struggling with writing what you really want, when it comes to setting life goals. So here's a little simplified inspiration..

One of my goals at the moment is to be 70kg on December 31 2013. I am going to achieve that by clean, healthy eating, by continuing to walk daily till I get clearance to go back to gym classes, lifting and stretching etc, and by remaining focused on my goal. I am also going to start bike riding of an evening, only 5 kilometres each night to start with. When I get full clearance to return to gym, I will set specific plans in place that outline days of the week, classes I will attend etc. I had 16 weeks to get to my goal weight, so dividing the weight to loose by the amount of weeks, leaves me with a weekly target of how much I need to loose to reach my goal on or before December 31. You can be much more specific. 

I understand that coming up to the festive season there will be moments along the way where I will drink champagne and eat canapés, but that won't cause me any distress because life happens, remember? My goal is realistic to start with, so an occasional lapse will not damage my overall goal.. To succeed at long term weight loss, you gotta be realistic. Anyone who has tried to loose weight in the past will have stories about eating one chocolate biscuit, then deciding to eat the whole packet, and then being so down on themselves they forgo their diet completely, for a number of weeks. 

That kind of rigid "all or nothing" thinking does my head in. Unrealistic and not sustainable... Setting yourself up for failure right from the start. Fancy a chocolate biscuit? Enjoy it, savour it, eat it slowly, try to describe what it tastes like.. Then bask in the fact that you can eat something you really enjoy without any guilt attached. Because you are the one in charge here.. 

You are not some terrible, weak willed good for nothing because you ate a biscuit.. You are a beautiful, fabulous person who had a craving for something sweet, just like any other human being on earth. No big deal. Don't waste one moment beating yourself up.. You're way too busy getting gorgeous. Stay focused on your goal. Eyes on the prize, remember? 

 

I have a theory though, that the body craves what it needs, eg in pregnancy, the body will ask for all sorts of weird concoctions to get the minerals that it needs to grow a new human. I believe the same is true in weight loss. 

I recently went to a naturopath who told me that my body was in dire need of some decent fats. My elbows were like a rasp, my skin was dull and lacklustre. She could tell just by looking at me that I was a long term dieter. She asked me what I craved, what was my comfort food? Butternut snap biscuits with real cold butter. And occasionally, chocolate coated liquorice. 

Little did I realise that my body was trying to tell me, I had low blood pressure ( liquorice will raise blood pressure ) and also needed a fat injection to supplement the skin... Years of eating low fat had taken its toll on my skin. I've recently added more good fats to my diet, avocado etc, and sure enough Hugo has stopped referring to my elbows as the 'renovators' and my skin feels much more supple. 

I believe we need to start seeing food as our medicine, and taking notice of what the body really wants.   I've never really been one to write down what I eat, but I guess it may help you determine if there is a pattern to your cravings. Try it for a few weeks if you are having cravings other than the ole ' what a bitch of a day, I need a Turkish delight.." kind of day, which we all  have from time to time. 

I still have mid afternoon cravings for a cuppa and something sweet. Ok, I admit, I'm not superwoman. (Yet..). So rather than deny myself, I eat something sweet, natural and clean. Eg date and almond balls, apricot coconut balls, or choc coconut slice. All home made, all easy as pie to make, and absolutely guilt free! 

Grab yourself a handful of good pitted dates, throw the in a blender, chuck in some coconut, some mixed nuts, mixed fruit and blend till it looks like breadcrumbs. Roll into balls, toss in coconut and put in fridge.  Or do the same but substitute the dates with apricots. Easy. If its a bit dry, throw in some coconut oil. 

Or chocolate slice... Blend dates, coconut, cocoa together, push into slice tin and set in fridge. Cut into squares. I'm actually too lazy to press and cut, so I just blob them onto baking paper till they set in fridge. Cate has actually iced the slice as well with choc icing, and used as a "normal" slice for a function. Not a good idea to introduce the icing sugar, but it looked fantastic for the special occasion.  

Make these treats yourself, , not only are they way cheaper and fresher, but they have less preservatives, less additives, and only contain what you put in there. No hidden sugar, fat or allergens.

So, realistically, Being healthy is not about denying yourself of treats, avoiding special occasions, and missing out in all the fun, it's about realising you are important enough to eat well, and well worthy of the good things in life.

You are not fat, you have fat... And getting your head around the fact that there is a huge difference, is very important....Which I will tell you about tomorrow. 

Motivation

Okay, so you've just decided to get married, have family photos, meet the in laws, go to the latest school reunion.. And you want to be looking stunning. 

You start to exercise, watch what you eat, swim, gym etc etc. till the occasion arrives, you look great, feel great, confidence grows, your skin glows - yet straight after your motivation disappears and the weight sneaks back on. Why?

Why is it that you can loose it if you want to, for something special? 

Why do you think that the remainder of your life is not a special occasion? One worthy enough to be in peak condition for? 

Forever is a special occasion. Trust me.

Deciding to loose weight is the easy bit, writing your plan of attack a little harder, and having the motivation, determination and dedication to continue is the hardest. 

We all now know that loosing weight is as simple as making the decision, and doing what's required to get there. Which, I should warn you, means sweat. It means Lycra, and it means getting uncomfortable. But I have learned doing it, saves a whole heap of heartache down the track. I know I would prefer to have sweat running between my cleavage from exercise than sweat rash between my fat thighs whilst shopping.

It also means to continually do what's necessary to meet your goals.  Continually, heaps, often, shitloads.... You catching what I'm throwing here?

I used to go to work, and be away from my house for almost 14 hours a day and what I missed most during that project, was having time to exercise. To let off steam at the end of a long day, to take an evening stroll around the park, or to attend a gym class. I could have easily said, I'm too busy, I'm too tired, I don't have time, but instead I threw the pedometer on my belt and walked all over that prep plant, up and down conveyors, stairs, found a toilet in another area and used it every time... It was 200 more steps away than the usual loo. I did Little things that added up to mean a lot, every day. I couldn't exercise out of work hours, so I incorporated it. 

And you know why I did that? Because I had a plan. I had a plan that told me I needed to stay focused and loose 900g this week, or else I wouldn't reach my target. My plan helped me stay on track.

I set daily plans. And weekly plans, and monthly targets. All were set up to help me achieve my final goal. I even had spreadsheets with charts and graphs! Lol... Absolutely ridiculous, but it worked. I loved watching the weight lost bar get bigger, and the weight to loose get smaller every week. It was a visual tool that kept me focused. 

At work I aimed for 20000 steps a day from the time I went in the gate to the time I left. Most days I achieved it, not all, but sometimes life gets in the way, remember? Any steps I took each day were a bonus. I found myself setting myself small targets.. 6k steps before 10am, 15k steps before 2pm etc. it helped me to stay concentrating on what my main aim was. Try setting yourselves small, achievable, personal targets, to start and increasing them as your fitness levels increase. 

I also left my runners at the back door. I would put them on the moment I removed my work shoes. That way, I always felt like I was half dressed already for exercise, I may as well continue. It was a small motivator to encourage me at a dangerous time for me, early evening. The temptation to say, I'm "zorsted" (Cates term..) was high, so having my shoes already on gave me that kick, to get my arse into gear and just do it.

I also reckon it's good idea to set small weight loss goals in your plan to keep you on track.. Aim for 5 kilos by Fred's wedding, 10 kilos by New Years Eve etc, but don't stop once you've achieved them. Continue to set goals even after you've reached your goal weight. Aim for maintaining of weight, for being able to walk or run another kilometre or two, climb Mt Everest, or walk the St James Way with me in 2014.. Whatever your plans are, meet them, exceed them and rewrite them, constantly.

Some people also like to have an accountability partner. Some one who will walk or exercise with them. Keep them to a set time, and use it as a social time as well. I have a friend that walks 5 days a week with a different person each day, it's her way of catching up with her friends that also lead busy lives. 

I personally don't really like it. I can never seem to find anyone that will walk at 5am, or enjoys the same classes as me at the gym. I guess I also travel a lot and I fix exercise in where I can, it's all too hard to expect someone else to fit into my chaos. I also like flexibility, being able to decide in the morning if I want to run, or walk or gym or weights etc.. But do what ever keeps you honest. If needing to have someone waiting for you at 7am on the corner is what you need to get you out of bed each day, do it. If you prefer not having someone watching the sweat trickle down your brow as you attempt to test out the holding power of your new sports bra, so be it. The secret is doing what works for you. Often. 

I had a handwritten sign on my fridge for years.... EFFORT or F it? Choice is yours.... 

I guess I just choose effort. 

Start at the start.

As we all learned in school, every great story has an introduction, a plot and a fabulous conclusion. 

Today I would like you to think about the introduction to your new life. This is your story, no one else's.

Yours.

 If you are a parent, a wife, a long term partner, you may be surprised at how hard it might be to write your introduction based solely upon yourself. Focus on what you want, what you need. Not what your husbands plans are, or your kids needs, or the mission statement for the business.  What do you crave for? If you could write a autobiography based on your dream life, what would it say? Think big.. You never have to show or tell anyone your story if you don't wish too. These are your dreams, your plans, your life.

I for one, found it really difficult, as I had been a single mum for such a long long time, I just couldn't imagine a life without my children, so all of my initial decisions were family focused. I wanted to save enough money to provide a safe haven for them, to never have them feel threatened, I wanted to always ensure that they felt loved and wanted and cared for... Me? I dunno... I was just so damn busy doing all the things I need to do to provide for the kids, I had no time to think of what I may have needed. 

Even when I first decided to write the plan, I struggled... I really had idea what it was that my heart wanted, nor what my soul cried out for. Every night when the kids would go to bed, I would pour a glass of wine, get my grand plan journal out and wait for inspiration. What the hell did I want?

My first plans were predominantly financially based, and those of you that lived through those crazy boom times in a mining town will understand the need for that. I just needed to be able to find enough steady income to pay the rent, and have enough to feed the family as well. I needed to know that if things went pear shaped suddenly, as they had once before, that I would be able to survive for a month without wages. I wanted to clear all my debt, and have 5k in the bank at the end of the year. 

So there it was, my first goal. 5k in the bank, clear of debt but December 31st. Heard of the SMART principle? All goals to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, something starting with R and Time Based.. Realistic! That's what the R stands for... (Phew, thought I'd lost my train of though there for a moment.)

So my plan to have 5 k met the SMART principle. It was specific 5 k, measurable, attainable, realistic and had a timeframe of Dec 31. 

I then worked backwards till I devised a plan of achieving this. Eg 20 weeks away, 5 k divided by 20 was 250. I opened another account for this saving and set up an automatic transfer for this amount every week. It went out the same day I got paid, so I didn't really ever notice it. You can imagine my elation when I saw on Dec 29, that last payment go in which took the balance to $5000. I was rich. Lol. I was so excited. And it was so easy.

Once Xmas and New Year wore off and another 2 kilos were happily balancing in my hips, I thought it time to create a plan that pertained to my health, both physical and emotional. Hmmm, another brainstorming session was in order. Happiness? Money? Fun? Steady work? Nope, too generic. BORING..... I had all of those things and none of them were anything dramatic. I needed change. I needed health, I needed fitness, I needed to be happy in my own skin, I needed someone who would keep me safe. Again and again I wrote lists and achieved them. Little by little. 

So, Start at the start. Think about what YOU need, what YOU want, what makes YOUR heart sing. And write your plan. Now. Today. Then write the steps to achieve them, little by little....

The big secret in writing a successful plan, I've found, is two things. An understanding that sometimes life gets in the way, and a need to be kind to yourself if you fall short by a little bit... You must remember that any improvement to your life, regardless of what area it fits into, is a success. Aimed for 4 kilos, only made 3.5? YAY.. Good job, you're 3.5 kg healthier! 

It is not the end of the world if you didn't quite make it. All positive change is?? Yep, you guessed it... POSITIVE CHANGE.. And what could be better than that? 

Come with me, she said......

I have been asked by sooo many people in the last few days to alter the format of this blog, from documenting the surgery to providing motivation and support for those looking to loose weight... Remembering I am still one of those people. Yes, I have had multiple inches of spare skin removed, but that does not mean that my body has changed the way it stores its excess energy. I am still in this treadmill of weight loss, as I have not one intention of ever putting all that weight back on. 

As i love a challenge, something that will keep my brain entertained, I've decided that i will try to give you guys what you want- I'm thinking it will also keep me extremely focused as well, knowing you're watching me.

 

Now, you must remember that I am not a weight loss guru, I have no professional credentials whatsoever in how, why, where, or what to do to loose weight. The only knowledge I have is what worked for me. I'm a former fat chick working hard to be healthy, to maintain a physical size that I am happy with, and to be comfortable in my own skin.

That's all I know.So this blog will be a motivator for myself and my family, and you if you choose. I don't profess to have all the answers, to have the secrets, or know what's best for you... I'd love for you to join me, if you would prefer not to... No biggie! 

Remember to consult your Doctor before starting any kind of exercise, but really, is any Dr ever gonna tell you to lay that lard arse down there on that couch, grab the remote, the chocolate and the Diet Coke, relax and enjoy????? Nope, they are gonna tell you gentle exercise to start- sensible eating plan and watch those kilos peel away!

I used to spend a lot of time convincing myself, I couldn't loose weight.. No matter what I tried.. So of course my brain convinced my body of just that. I walked and rode my exercise bike and drank protein shakes as advised by my daycare director (pfffftttt- what was I thinking???).... But nothing happened. I would loose a kilo here and there, but nought to speak of. I would go to special celebrations and eat nothing, but drink 1001 Canadian Clubs- but with soda water though, so they can't be bad for you, surely?

Then, as you already know, I attended a motivational speaking session in Brisbane, and it was like a light bulb went on in my head. I was such a big believer in positive thinking, yet here I was sabotaging my own efforts.  "Thin and healthy, successful and wealthy" became my mantra for the next 5 years... And still is to this day.

So, come, join me on the journey to being Thin, Healthy, Successful and Wealthy as well. Put your phone down now, get ya runners on and go for a walk.. I don't care where, or for how long, just walk. And meet me back here tomorrow..

4 weeks Post Op

Back to walking, back to working...Yay! Finally.

4 weeks post operative this week, I am almost 100%. I am able to get myself about, walk, work, drive a little... My life is almost back to normal. Still not able to lift or stretch but on the whole, doing really well.

Cate and I walk for 35 mins each morning, much less than what I used to, but I'm not into breaking world records just yet, so we are happy enough walking at a steady pace for that amount of time each morning at 6 am. We will build it up steadily each week, no need to jeopardise the healing for the sake of a kilometre or two. I've plenty of time. I'm feeling great. Enthusiastic and willing to do what it takes.

Cate took a photo of me in my work clothes yesterday. It felt soooo good to be back in the real world, I asked for a photo to send to Hugo. He is in SA working for a fortnight, so I thought he would appreciate a photo of the momentous occasion of me returning to work. Today, I posted that photo on Facebook.. Understand that I have spent the best part of the last twenty years in hiding, an invisible overweight person, living in a world where thin is beautiful.. So Imagine my surprise this evening when I logged into Facebook and saw 128 likes on that photo and some really heartfelt comments. I am not used to that flattery, and was borderline embarrassed, worried to think people may see me as showing off... Then I thought, bugger it, I am bloody showing off, I have worked damn hard to get to this point, just this once I am going to enjoy this attention. I can see now why teenaged kids post so many selfies, the positive attention would be addictive... Prepare yourselves, I am practising my duck faces, and posing in front of the bathroom mirror at this very moment.

From that photo, I have had many private messages from people asking who did my surgery, how did I loose my weight, did I  have gastric banding,what is my motivation, how much did it cost, did it hurt, can I help.... So, today's post will attempt to answer those questions..

I lost my weight the easy way. With grit, determination, and persistence. 

I didn't have any operations to cut my stomach in half, I didn't take any pills or potions, I didn't skip any meals. I took the easy option. I just worked off more energy than I ate. Simple. Up until a few years ago I was the queen of theory, I had read every self help, diet fad book ever published. I knew how to loose weight, I just didn't. Yeah, sometimes I would walk a couple of kilometres, ride an exercise bike for 45 minutes every day, but although my body was willing, my head wasn't in the right spot. I am a firm believer of 'what you declare, you achieve', so after watching my son beat a brain tumour with this very theory at the ripe old age of 6, I realised that I too could make a difference in my own life if I only tried. 

It is very true that your body hears everything that your brain thinks, so if you spend your day telling people you can't loose weight, that's exactly what will happen. I have a mantra that I sing to myself when walking " thin and healthy, successful and wealthy".. I chanted internally everyday when I walked alone, willing my big arse and rubenesque hips to not only listen, but take action! I also used to imagine little Pac-men gobbling up all of the fat I accumulated over the years. I also wonder now if it was emotional weight, I was unhappily carting around years of excess baggage, and not all of my own! Now I'm rid of it, and I've never been happier! 

I joined the gym in D Town, and fate brought me in contact with two of the best personal instructors I could ever have met. Wild, wicked women with raucous laughs, and mischievous twinkles in their eyes... They challenged me, helped me, encouraged me every step of the way. I still to this day miss those two... And wish I could find someone here that inspired me half as well as they did.

Anyone who knows me well will know I hate sweating, I hate not being in control, I hate being out of my comfort zone, and I hate any form of confrontation. Loosing weight made me face every one of these things. I sweated my arse off ( literally). I looked stupid in too tight Lycra gym pants and bright white runners, I was embarrassed having to ask how to use gym equipment, I blushed profusely when the most handsome man in D Town casually wandered over for a chat when I was on the rowing machine, struggling for breath, hair seductively stuck to my forehead with sweat. I did not own high impact bras and I'm sure all this jumping about was doing nothing but creating comic relief for all in the gym. I was made box, run, jump, lift weights, do leg presses, ride stationery bikes, do aerobic step sessions at peak hour at the gym in front of work colleagues. But it worked. The endorphins were taking effect, sneaking  in and colliding with my fat cells, convincing them that working out was fun.. Not at all flattering but much fun.

Then, suddenly the universe decided it was time for us to move on. I had to leave my safety net, my cocoon and head for the real world. We left D Town very unhappily, and moved to the Emerald City. Life and reality hit me front on for a number of years. My home flooded, we moved house, my son battled depression and suicide attempts, my job changed multiple times, I was working 14 hour days, my relationship broke down, I had few friends and no social life. There were many Turkish Delight days during these times. I joined a gym but couldn't find the spark that I had. I tried a trainer, didn't click. I phoned another, he never bothered to get back to me... I didn't push it. 

One evening it occurred to me that even though I had no external down time to exercise, that didn't mean I couldn't incorporate some into my daily activities whilst at work. I started wearing a pedometer, I aimed for 20000 steps a day, every day. I ate very few carbohydrates. I packed only healthy foods in my lunch box. If I didn't pack it, I couldn't eat it. I shopped more carefully. I walked those conveyors and climbed those stairs as often as I could, I parked away from the office, I walked everywhere rather than drive.. Little things that added up over time to make a big difference. 

Bingo, I was back in the game.. As easy as it is to fall off the wagon, it's that easy to get back on. Sure I had some days where we ate cake to celebrate a birthday, or sometimes just for no reason at all.. But I now knew that if i wanted a treat,or i was lucky enough to be asked on a surprise dinner date, i just worked extra hard the next day.

Wanna Eat cake? Go for a run - Fancy a chocolate? Head for a weights session that afternoon. Easy. Work off more than you eat. Simple. Not even close to rocket science. Don't buy shit, don't eat shit. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if I can do it, you can do it too. I have been single, homeless, broke, sad, unhappy, drunk, busy, tired, worried, kids to mind, men to deal with,etc etc etc... You would not ever be able to think of an excuse that I haven't had to battle through. 

So just do it, it's much easier than continually avoiding the issue. Go one, be your very own Nike ad, what have you got to loose aside from 50 kilos?

Now that the easy stuff is out of the way, I'll get to tell you about the gory, much harder stuff..

The operation to remove the skin.

Obviously having 4 kids in less than 2 years was never gonna be kind to the elasticity in my skin, particularly twins. I had stretch marks from neck to knee almost. Regardless of how much weight I lost that skin wasn't gonna tighten up. Enter the thought of reconstructive surgery. Although the surgery took place  just a month ago,the thought has been rattling round in my brain for years. I have been to see 4 surgeons prior to Dr Tristian, but none of them instilled any confidence. Three years ago,i was quoted 20 k to have a similar operation, at the times was saving for a house deposit and just couldn't justify spending that kinda money on myself.

Almost two years ago, my fiancé at the time, made a statement one Saturday morning, that changed my life forever. We had just had breakfast, and the two of us were happily sitting chatting in the sun on the back deck. Life was good,or so I thought. Within the next ten minutes, my son had joined us at the table, heading out on his way to the gym, we started a conversation about fitness, and my fiancé uttered the words that struck me like a knife. "You haven't got an ounce of fat on you mate, you want to see fat, ask your Mum, she has enough spare skin to make a human floor rug" I was struck dumb with the ferocity of the words that had, to me, come from nowhere. I walked away, and spent the remainder of the weekend avoiding him. He came back the next weekend like nothing had happened, and the next, and the next... But each time I looked at him those words were there. I had nightmares about me laying alongside the TV downstairs head and all, like a zebra mat in an African hunting lodge.

 

I broke off the engagement. 

I was once again single, alone and parenting 4 teenagers, whilst working to payoff a very large mortgage. Stress levels were high and Turkish delights were close. 

Around this same time,I had begun working with the fabulous Hugo. He and I were fast become friends and enjoyed each others company a lot. Now,I have to tell you Hugo was not my ideal not usual type of man. He is skinny, eats like a horse and has no concept of the difficulties that a fat person faces on a daily basis. Hugo actually has a serious aversion to fat people. Yep, he is what fat people like me, call a bastard. I had no intention of falling in love with this cream bun eating bloke, who frowned if he ever saw me tucking into a slice of birthday cake. I'm sure that he also did not have plans  on ever being seen with someone like me, looks being very important to Hugo. But, the world works in mysterious ways, before long he had fallen for my charm, ( i was unaware i had any, at this point) and we were an item. I know my loose skin must have been unsightly, hell, I couldn't even look at it in the mirror, but not once did he mention it, not once did he make a comment that related to my size, or my diet. 

It was pure synchronicity that I picked up a newspaper to throw out at work, and it fell open to a page with an advertisement for Dr Tristain de Chalain. I wrote his number down and gave it some serious thought. Soon after, I phoned made appointment to meet him in Rocky to discuss the options. He is a reconstructive surgeon, not a cosmetic surgeon, and I think that made all the difference.

From the moment I walked into his surgery, I knew this surgeon was the right one. Instantly he put me at ease, he discussed options at length, treating me with dignity, and not making me feel like a side of beef as the Dr's before him had. Dr Tristian involved Hugo in the conversations, showed us very graphic photos of the operation and expected outcomes. He took his time, answered all of my questions and I walked out of that office knowing that I would be in safe hands. He has a gentle manner about him, that was very comforting to me. The operation was scheduled for August 5th, a month after we had returned from Paris. Due to having to wear a compression garment, it is recommended To have this operation in winter, for obvious reasons. 

His surgery was going to cost $12500, with $500 being paid as deposit when operation was booked and remainder due two weeks prior to operation. I was lucky enough to be able to claim about $1600 on Medicare also, due to their being a medical reason I needed to have skin removed.

Anatheasist fees were $3600 and were due one week prior to operation. Again I can claim Medicare rebate for this.. I'm not sure of exact rebate, but will update when I get final figures. Hospital fees were totally covered by my health insurance company.

Some surgeons will charge an extra $200 for each compression garment, mine was included, as were my dressings and tape, wound gel etc.

I know it's not cheap. $12500 is a lot of money, but I don't smoke, gamble and very rarely drink, so the money was saved very quickly, once my priorities were put in place. There have been people that have made derogatory comments about my selfishness in having this operation, and they are the same people I see in the KFC drive through, in Maccas, or with a trolley full of bad food... In my opinion, people can spend their money however they please... I choose reconstructive surgery, some choose KFC.  

The surgery itself was not painful as much as aggravating. It was hard for someone as independent as I am, to be grounded. Unable to get out of bed, or off a chair, not able to walk or drive. It was literally a pain in the arse. But, I'd do it again if I had the chance again. Only sooner.

I didn't mean for this post to be so sombre tonight, but it is serious stuff. I know there are people out there who need to hear this, who need to understand that they can do it, it's only as hard as you make it, and that it's never too late to make a difference.

If a friend has directed you here for a read, don't be cross or offended, be enlightened and please find comfort in knowing that there are people that care about you, and worry about your health and well being. Hug them, and thank them for loving you enough to want to help.